My Baby Daddy

Happy Birthday to my Baby Daddy!

April 10, 2015 - 45 years young today and more handsome than ever.  Which really isn't fair.  Why do men get better looking with age?  While I, and I suspect most women, struggle with weight gain, hot flashes and facial hair!  But, I digress - this topic is a whole other Oprah!

My Baby Daddy has many redeeming qualities.  He is joyful, fun-loving, kind, smart, hard working, handsome, and charming.  He is a sports aficionado and loves cold beer. He takes pride in taking care of his lawn.  He has a sick, irreverent sense of humor and loves to laugh.  His favorite teams are the Dodgers, Lakers and Kings.  He is laid back and easy going.  He loves his family and is just a good guy.  Although he has a smile that makes my heart melt, I'll admit it was not love at first sight for us. We were friends, we enjoyed each others' company and we had fun hanging out.  It was watching him be a Daddy that made me fall in love.  I remember thinking what a lucky girl she was - and still is.  I fell in love with her first of course.  She was so dainty, beautiful and sweet.  He was doting, gentle and calm.  He was always there for her.  She was his number one priority.  I loved that about him.  As much as I may have wanted to be -as a woman, as a girlfriend - in that #1 spot, I knew deep down about family, responsibility and priorities.  I respected that.  I loved that.  That was the kind of man I wanted to be the father of my children.

Luckily, that was God's plan for me all along.  One of my greatest blessings is to be loved by him.  It's been 13 years since we started dating, and on April 19, we will celebrate our 7th wedding anniversary.  In three and a half fleeting months we will welcome two new beautiful priorities into our life.  A boy and a girl who will know very soon just how blessed they are to be born to such a wonderful guy.  He is already doting on these babies by taking good care of their growing mama and talking to them every day. I can't wait to watch him with them - and to witness the joy that being a father brings to him.

There is no other person on this earth I would rather share this experience with. We have so much to be grateful for and so much to look forward to.

Wishing you a very happy birthday Baby Daddy - and many many more to come.  Thank you for making my life whole.

I love you more than any words could ever express.

- The Baby Mama

If the womb is a rockin, don't come a knockin!

I felt the babies move for the first time last night!  I've been waiting and waiting, wondering when it was going to happen.

I had a few doctor appointments yesterday.  An ultrasound in the morning, which Sister and Grandma got to sit in on, and a visit to my OB in the afternoon.  The babies were moving around like crazy, especially Max.  I've been asked several times If I can feel them moving yet - but I had not.  I am officially 20 weeks (5 months) pregnant. The doctor told me it would happen soon.
  
It was 2:00 a.m.  The house was dark and silent.  Hubby was on the couch, chivalrously allowing me more space in the bed to try and get some real rest.  I'm not sleeping well these days.  It only lasted for five minutes or so.  It's hard to describe in words how it felt.  I was expecting it to feel like butterflies or a flutter - but it was more like a wave.  Like moving your hand back and forth in the bath tub.  They say you'll know when you feel it - and I knew exactly what it was.  I had a grin from ear to ear.  Even though we've heard the heartbeats and seen them move on ultrasounds - this was a completely different kind of rewarding.  It reminded me that there is more to this pregnancy than my swollen feet and hands, headaches, acid reflux and insomnia.  I knew they were in there, but now I can actually feel them.  It made me feel so close to them.  I can't think, at this moment, of anything more magical than the babies in my belly letting me know they are alive and well.  I'm sure I'll think differently in a few weeks or months when their jabbing me in the side, hiccuping incessantly or fighting with each other in utero; but for now, I can't wait to feel it again and again and again...

This is one of those times when I really feel and know how wonderful it is to be a woman.    

Ties and Tutus

I'm 18 weeks pregnant.  Amazingly half way through our pregnancy, as twins are considered full term at 37 weeks.  Wednesday, March 11, 2015 could not have come soon enough.  It was the date of our 2nd trimester anatomy scan.  We were finally going to find out the genders of our little bambinos, as well as confirming that all their organs were fully formed and functioning properly at this stage in the game.  Our appointment was scheduled for 4:00 p.m.  It was yet another very long day at work.  I was so anxious.

The week prior, my dear friend asked me what we were going to do for the "reveal".  I told her we had nothing planned because our appointment is so late in the day; AND everyone we know was waiting to hear the results.  So waiting until the weekend to make the announcement was not going to fly!  She said you have to do something, how about a simple reveal party.  So Hubby and I discussed it and we planned a small get together for Wednesday night at 6:30, right after our appointment.  We decided on ordering pizzas and soda.  My friend was going to bring a salad and some cookies.  I sent out a text to a special few asking them to join us.  Our small get together turned into a gathering for 35 of our closest family and friends.  I was feeling a little overwhelmed, but realized this was a great problem to have.  What a blessing to have so many wanting to be part of such a memorable day.  

As the day finally arrived, I was so worried that the babies would not cooperate and the tech would not be able to get a good view. We did not want to have to wait another month to find out, nor did we want to cancel the party at the last minute.  However, as a sign of good things to come, the bambinos were perfectly behaved and the tech was able to tell right away.  She continued to measure each baby and check their spine, kidneys, liver, heart, arms and legs. Everything looked great.  The babies are each about 5 1/2 inches long (about the size of a sweet potato) and weigh about 8 ounces each.  They can hear now, which makes Daddy very happy.  He likes to talk to them every day.  They are yawning  hiccuping, sucking and swallowing - twisting, rolling, punching and kicking too.  Although Mommy has not felt the babies move yet, I should be able to start feeling this in the next couple of weeks as the babies continue to grow.  My appetite has increased dramatically, but my only real craving is ice cream.  I've done pretty good in the weight gain department (shocker), as I've only gained 9 pounds thus far.  My feet and hands are starting to swell (this 90 degree heat we've been having in March is not helping).  I've had to remove my wedding ring; and I'm not sleeping well at all.  But other than that I'm feeling great and so excited.    

There were so many cute ideas for the actual reveal on Pinterest, but we decided we would get two boxes - one for Baby A and one for Baby B, and fill them with the appropriate color balloons.  We planned on stopping at Party City on our way home from the hospital to pick up the balloons.  My brother graciously offered to take on this task so that Hubby and I could be just as surprised as the rest of the guests and we could all find out together.  So we had the ultrasound tech place the results in a sealed envelope and we handed that off to my brother.  He was the first to know the sex of the babies - and did a great job keeping it to himself as we all waited to find out.

As our family and friends began to arrive the suspense was killing us, but we were able to put that on the back burner for a moment as Reese came home, all the way from school in Santa Barbara, to surprise Daddy and be with us on a very memorable night.  We are so glad she did.  It would not have been the same without her.

The time finally came for the big reveal.  It was so much fun for all of us.  I felt like a little kid on Christmas morning.  I'm so glad we decided to wait and let my brother take care of the balloons - it all worked out perfectly.  As we opened the box for Baby A - baby blue balloons came floating out.  Our baby boy will be called Maximus Edward Becerra.  A strong name, latin for "greatness," befitting a very special little boy who indeed has greatness in his future. Daddy finally gets a boy and Reese does not have to hyphenate her name!  :)  Hubby joked about the second box being full of blue balloons too - as he knew I really wanted a baby girl. I, of course, would be delighted no matter what, but it would really be a shame if all my french braiding skills went to waste!!  It seemed like an eternity before the box for Baby B was opened - but with great joy we saw pink balloons gracefully flow out.  Our baby girl will be called Grace Kathleen Becerra.  Grace is derived from the latin word "gratia", meaning God's favor.  I can' t think of a more aptly named child.    

I was so excited, I forgot I was pregnant.  I jumped up and down like a school girl.  The atmosphere in that backyard that night was electric.  Full of joy and excitement.  We were all elated that we will be welcoming both a boy and a girl into this world.  It could not have worked out any better if we planned it!  God has truly blessed us a million times over.  We were so grateful that so many of our friends and family took the time out on a school night to share this very special moment.  We did miss a special few who were unable to make it, but look forward to the many special memories we will make in the future.  

Now the fun begins as we get the house(and ourselves) ready for our new additions and prepare to welcome them into this world.

To Share or Not to Share...

I've been thinking about this post for a while now.  It is about our decision to share our special journey to parenthood and the method in which we conceived.  To be honest, not sharing didn't even cross our minds.  We've struggled for so so long with infertility - heartbreak month after month, year after year.  Once we were introduced to the option of donor egg IVF we were honestly just overjoyed with the possibility of actually getting pregnant.  For me, knowing the pure joy of growing life in my womb; and for us as a couple - a family, the chance to experience this absolute miracle together.  Our very own miracles.  Not sharing this news with the people we loved the most was not even an option.  Not to mention the very basic fact that I can't keep a secret and I'm horrible at lying. 

After some urging, I decided to start writing about our experience.  At first, I was nervous about what I should or should not write about.  What is considered taboo to one person is moving and helpful to another. You can't please all the people all the time, which has always been a difficult concept for me personally.  But the more I pondered, the more I thought what a great way to share with our children - when the time is right - the miracle of their existence.  There can be no denying how wanted they were and how long we waited for them.  How many people were involved in getting them here.  How much joy their very existence has brought to our entire extended family.  God works in mysterious ways.  We will never know why it was such a difficult journey getting here or why it took so long for this dream to come to fruition.  But what we do know is that God placed his hand on and worked through each and every person involved in this process - through all those of you who prayed endlessly for us, through those who helped us pay for it, through the doctor and her staff and all the specialists whose expertise and compassionate work got us pregnant, and through our family and friends, whose support and encouragement helped us get through a stressful and difficult period of our life.  There is no denying this was His will and how do you not share that?  I know there are some who might disagree with this decision.  Some who may feel we are sharing a story that is not solely our own.  That perhaps our children would choose not to divulge this information on their own and we should leave it to them to tell their own story.  I did consider this, briefly.  But honestly, these babies are special- well, all babies are special - but these babies are our gift from God and there is no shame in wanting to share how they got here.  Not to mention the fact that we are very secure in our decision that this was the right choice for our family, there is no reason to keep it a secret.  If we had chosen adoption, we would not have kept that a secret, why would this be any different?  These babies are already treasured, loved and showered with prayer, and they still have five plus months before they make their debut!  

Additionally, now that we have made our pregnancy "Facebook" official and shared the blog, I have had numerous people reach out to me about their own experiences and struggles with infertility. Even from some who have been considering donor egg IVF, but just needed some inspiration, moral support or a better understanding of how the process works.  I'm moved and overwhelmed by the positive response and the unending support and prayer we've received; and not just from our immediate circle, but from people we have not seen or heard from in years.  This is where social media is amazing.  Sharing our story has not only been therapeutic for us, but it's resonating with people and helping them in ways we could not have imagined.  I'm sure we'll encounter our fair share of criticism too, I guess that goes with the territory. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it, but for now, the stories will keep on coming.

We are truly grateful for our abundant blessings and look forward to sharing their entrance into this world with you.  


    
     

From Party Girl to Potty Girl.......

Well, ladies and germs, the time has finally come.  I've gone from drinking for one to eating for three. I would rather take a nap than belly up to a bar for an icy cold beer and a shot of fireball.  My have times changed.

I come from a long line of folks who knew how to have a good time.  It didn't matter if we were all gathered for the birth of a baby or the death of a loved one - the celebration was always the same: good cold libations, homemade food and great music.  All surrounded by lots of laughter and tears. I'm sure there was a smattering of drama thrown in the mix too, but I don't remember that much - and let's face it, who doesn't like a bit of drama from time to time?  I remember good times with my family - grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, neighbors.  The more the merrier.  The party bug started with my grandparents, trickled down to my parents and then my brothers and I.

When Hubby and I finally crossed paths we realized we were two peas-in-a-pod.  We enjoyed each other's company and had many things in common, especially a taste for the finer things in life - like icy cold beers and bar food  :)  I was easy - err - I was an easy girl to please.  We were the perfect match.  We looked forward to a good party every weekend and we've thrown more than a few ourselves.  

My girlfriends all share my love of a good time too.  There was nothing better than meeting up after a long, stressful day at work for "one" drink; and then ending up closing down the bar.  What I once thought was the ultimate way to blow off steam.  
 
Needless to say, at 14 plus weeks pregnant, I've traded my bar stool for a potty.  My "closing down the bar" days are over and I'm having to learn how to "blow off steam" in other ways.  They tell me how important it is that I stay stress free.  (ha ha ha, audible laugh).   I must have been hungover the day we learned how to manage stress in ways that don't involve booze and cigarettes.  But I've turned the page and I'm learning new techniques - they are just not nearly as fun.  :)

In fact, I went to "the bar" last night, for the first time in months, for a friend's 40th birthday.  I have to admit I was feeling quite smug this morning reading all the posts about how miserable everyone was feeling today.  Not drinking has its perks - unlike my amigas, I feel great!

I'm looking forward to my first post-pregnancy frosty mug of ice cold beer, and our first party showing off our newest prides and joy.  I look forward to continuing the tradition and filling our home with family and friends, good cold libations, homemade food, good music, laughter and tears. Its what I remember and what I want my kids to know.

In the meantime, I'm enjoying all the perks of pregnancy, trying to eat well and staying healthy. Reveling in the excitement of all the wonderful things to come.  

Cheers!  

Graduation Day

We graduated from Dr. X today.  Graduation Day is typically a happy occasion, but I'm not feeling overjoyed.  I'm very sad to be leaving the very competent care of of Dr. X and her staff.  I've been seeing these ladies once a week for over a year now.  They are kind, honest, have my best interests at heart and above all that, they really really know what they are doing.  Every last one of them.  We walked into that office on January 6, 2014 with no hope of having a child of our own, and walked out today - 14 weeks pregnant with twins.  It's really unbelievable.

The compassionate care we've received has helped us get through one of the most challenging periods of our life.  It's a difficult parting of ways.  I'm sure my new OB will work out just fine, but I have a special place in my heart for these ladies.  A gratefulness I'll never be able to adequately express.  

They assured me that I look great, and that babies are doing fantastic.  They said we would be in good hands.  Gave us a few last bits of advice for the remainder of our pregnancy and presented us with two very special little gifts.  A "Graduation Gift" they called it.

Babies' first spoons.  Silver spoons at that!  ;)    

We are proceeding with faith that our new doctors will have the same interest and care to guide us through a healthy pregnancy and the birth of our babies.

It's been amazing to see God's grace working through these wonderful people.  To see that miracles do happen to ordinary people.  Our lives are forever changed.

May God continue to bless them and the extraordinary work that they do for families every day.

The First Trimester is in the Rear View Mirror!

It's hard to believe we are at 13 weeks already!  The first trimester was eventful, to say the least, but we made it through.  I've never been this far along before - and it feels really good. I'm feeling better and starting to get some energy back.  Our little bambinos are measuring just over 3 inches each and continue to have very strong heartbeats.  I still can't believe there are two in there!  

They are facing each other with their heads touching.  They move around and change positions quite a bit, although I am not able to feel them moving yet.  

I had my NT (Nuchal Translucency) Ultrasound yesterday afternoon.  This is one of the routine genetic tests they run to rule out Downs Syndrome and some other chromosomal abnormalities, as well as congenital heart problems.  They are looking at the measurements of the baby's neck.  Babies with abnormalities tend to accumulate more fluid at the back of the neck during the first trimester, causing it to be larger than average. They combine the results of the genetic blood test with the ultrasound and tell you what your risk percentage is for each disorder.  In my case, they gave me two sets of results: one set for me, based on my age; and one for the donor, who is in her early 20's.  They told me not to be alarmed if my numbers came back positive, as is typical for a woman of my "advanced" age.  ;)  I thought 40's were supposed to be the new 20's!   The results were great.  We have a very low risk.  I was not worried, but it's nice to be reassured. 

Doctor X (my reproductive endocrinologist) has officially weaned me off all the meds - which means no more shots.  My derriere is extremely grateful.  I'll have a few more blood tests with Doctor X to make sure my hormone levels are good and stable, and then I'll sadly graduate from her care.  Once you've made it through your first trimester their job is done.  They got us pregnant and got us through the most difficult trimester.  Now it's time to pass the baton.

I had my first appointment with my new OB about three weeks ago. They recommended that we overlap the two doctors just so they can communicate about my care and that it gives us a chance to determine if we are comfortable with her.  She came highly recommended, but I'm not sure how I feel about her.  She was nice enough I suppose, but I know I'm not going to get the attentive, proactive, detailed care that I'm getting from Dr. X and her staff.  I have the utmost trust in them and I'm apprehensive to walk away from that.  I don't really have a choice in the matter, it is what it is.  I'm sure the new OB will be just fine.  The jury is still out.  Fingers crossed.

We made the decision to deliver at St. Jude and we go for our tour of the maternity ward on Saturday.   So many exciting things coming up.  We find out the sex of the babies on March 11, 2015.  The suspense is killing me!!!