Friday, January 2, 2015


Hawaii was amazing.  It was just the break we needed.  Now it's time to pull up those websites and start searching again.  It didn't take long.

The ONE popped up in my very first search.  Wait, I remember this girl.  She was rejected, but why? There had been so many over all these months I could not remember anymore.  But I did remember her.  She was my very first pick, straight out of the gate, but had been rejected by the doctor because she had never donated before.  Our doctor only used proven donors.  She was tall, beautiful, had a wonderful smile and perfect medical history.  I'm sending her back to the doctor for a second look.

We got the call about her the next day.  Doctor said she was a perfect match.  Since the first time we picked her she had gone through a cycle which resulted in a positive pregnancy.  All her numbers were great, her medical history was great.  She was perfect.  We called the agency and placed a
"hold" on her right away.  She has the ability to decline, but luckily for us she didn't and we were off!
It took about a month to get through all the legal stuff, the contracts and agreements.  We are legally bound to maintain complete confidentiality.  We were not even allowed to sign the agreements with our own names.  They were signed "intended Mother" and "intended Father".  She signed hers as "Donor XXX".  It seemed so weird and impersonal.  I get it, completely, but it was still so weird.  We met with the attorney a few times to read over the contract and make sure we understood every part of it.  I still remember the night we were to sign the papers.  I was going to Fedex them to the attorney the next morning.  I got home from work and we commenced with our usual routine of making dinner and cleaning up.  We probably watched a little Family Feud and whichever of our favorite programs that was on that night (we have many).  I left the paperwork out for hubby to sign while I took a shower.  After my shower I came to bed and he was sitting there with the paperwork in his lap, waiting for me.  I said, "why didn't you sign them?"  He said, "I was waiting for you, this is really important.  We should do this together."  He was right.  We signed the papers together and fell asleep holding hands.

During this period of time we received a packet from the agency.  In it were photographs of the donor and all the paperwork she had completed when she started with the agency. Many of the photographs we had seen already, but there were some new ones.  We got to see photographs of her when she was a baby, a little girl, with her family, as a teenager - all phases of her life.  I could tell a lot about her from her photographs.  She looked happy and kind.  The questionnaire and paperwork she had completed I had never seen before.  It was written in her own, very neat and beautiful handwriting - the first of many similarities between the two of us I found.  As I read it tears flowed down my cheeks. She was so much like me. I had no idea. She liked to clean and was very organized.  She was in the same profession as me.  She was very close to her family.  She wanted to be a Mommy herself and loved children her whole life.  She made the very personal decision to become a donor due to a woman in her life that she loved very much and watched suffer through infertility.  She was caring, kind, fun, smart and beautiful.  She was the ONE.  She held a very special place in my heart.  I was so happy, and for the first time in a long time I was excited again about this journey and couldn't wait to get started.  

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